This post is going to be different today. I have been reading and started t think about some stuff.
Am I the way I am because of my family and how I'm treated? Is it because I have done things in life where I made bad decisions? Maybe it's from not having my siblings around and have that bond with them that I am damaged.
I have wondered at times why no one wants me around, well a lot more then you think. Everyone says that they do want me around but they really don't. They like other people more and like hanging out with them so I'm left in the dust.
It sucks and I do think it plays a huge role in my moods even though I am used to it. I know people can't handle my strong independent personality and give it you straight attitude. I think they just ask me around on holidays to be nice.
I have learned to stop giving a shit and do what I think is right for me. I'm not the little innocent girl you once knew or the girl who is going to kiss ass on everyone and play nice, nope! I WILL not do that. I will tell you how it is and what I think.
Most times people don't want to be around because they want to "please everyone" which you shouldn't! Stop deluding yourself and grow some fucking BALLS!
It's sad when I see people pleasing others an being what they want that person to be. It's like they are a shell with nothing inside and like I said it's "kissing ass to other people"
I reflect a lot on my life and I don't regret my decisions, well maybe one but the rest definitely not. I'm glad I am following who I want to be and that I have tattoos! I'm proud of who I am even if I forget.
There are other things that bother me but maybe I should leave that for a rainy day, my friends don't care and they never will. This is one reason why I won't be doing a birthday/Christmas list this year. I want something but its sooooo taboo for them to get it! I don't see how it is but they will buy nose rings for someone?
anyways I think I have ranted on long enough. I'm reading a book and one character has made me think. Back to reading.